Because I’m a sucker for punishment, I’ve been watching the England vs India test cricket series in the evenings.
My hopes have been duly raised this week as a resurgent English batting line up managed to post a terrific score on the Indians. Of course, we all know this ends in a disappointing draw but, what the hell, that’s the price one pays for watching international sport.
I am somewhat confused by the coverage on the Sky Sports channel though. Bearing in mind that the people most likely to be sitting on sofas in Australia watching this test match are;
1. English ex pats.
2. Indian ex pats.
3. Die hard cricket fans from other countries.
4. People who haven’t yet woken up from the rugby league match that was on prior to the cricket (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, kick, snore).
So why then, is the lunchtime analysis (10pm to 10.50pm) a bunch of Australians talking about Australian cricket?
Granted, Jeff Thomson was a brilliant fast bowler back when Rolf Harris and Mel Gibson were Australian.
Indeed, it might have been nice to have heard his opinion on the match at hand rather than the usual montage of him hitting hapless tailenders and smashing David Lloyd’s box.
No such luck, I’m afraid.
In fact, even an Indian pundit offering opinions on why his team will bowl England out quickly after lunch and perhaps apologising for the BCCI continuing this avoidance of the DRS would have been more relevant.
Instead, we got our old friend, Australia’s answer to Dr. Jonathan Miller, the polymath Adam Barrington Spencer.
Of course, Adam is eminently qualified to regale us with his informed and erudite opinions on a cricket match being played 12,000 miles away between two countries other than his own due to his enviable sporting credentials and record.
The Spencer’s entire raison d’être for being in the public eye is his “funny maths geek” schtick.
You can’t have it both ways, young Barrington, unless you’re going to amuse us with a witty monologue on the geometry and physics of finger spin (he didn’t).
In fact, the maths geek qualification isn’t really that credible either seeing as how his degree was in the arts.
Which probably explains why, in a recent interaction on Twitter he sent me a message explaining that the earth hadn’t warmed for nearly 18 years because the heat had all sunk ino the depths of the ocean.
‘Cos that’s what heat does, innit? Sink.
So that just leaves the humour.
And we’ve harvested that barren ground before.
The entire research department and chief sub-editor of this organ have just been fired as it has been since pointed out that Pearly Spencer’s degree is in pure mathematics.
Mea culpa, Adam. Join us for a Denier Bier to make amends, eh?