Today’s blog post was going to be about something else, probably one of these subjects; the immorality of collectivism, the Gallipoli hype, Australia’s disease of over-reach, a Richmond photo or just generally trolling climate change thumbsuckers, but instead, Aussie Pride has completely diverted our attention to Bondy’s answer to Trinny and Susannah.
The utter bastard.
I mean that in the nicest possible way, but what a bastard to make us all aware of that website. Now we’ll not get anything done in the office as we browse the car crash that is the anectgloatal blog, Mama Privée.
At first read one thinks, “this is a parody, surely?”. But then, as you page through the pages and pages of advice, opinion and excuses to post views from someone’s picturesque balcony, you realise that this is genuinely a blog written by two women who think there’s a market for parenting advice for female 30-somethings in the Bondy ™ area with functioning uteruses and a disposable income equivalent to most people’s mortgage repayments.
There are many crimes in life, but perhaps the most heinous of all is to be self-unaware. All sorts of consequences arise when one fails to recognise internal faults and weaknesses.
A major consequence of Mama Michelle and Mama Vic Trinny and Susannah’s ramblings on all things reproductive in the 2026 postal area is that we all get to laugh like drains at their complete lack of embarrassment and desperation to become Sloane Rangers. By the way, the similarity between Trinny and Susannah isn’t just in the Sloaney aspirational bollocks; there’s a horsey-faced semi-attractive one and a dumpy minger on Mama Privée, just like the celebrity clothes-horses.
The website is an absolute comedy gold mine. We could pick any of the posts they’ve written but this one is as good as any; Girls Weekend.
A quick skim read will lead you to the conclusion that the young fillies are clearly both on their first marriages. How do we know this? Well, anyone who thinks it’s appropriate to explain to the world that her husband is a chauvinistic arsehole who doesn’t usually pull his weight around the domestic chores and parenting duties obviously hasn’t experienced the cost and disruption of a divorce.
Also, only someone with an incomplete set of requirements for a life partner would contemplate marrying anyone who played golf, because golf is for twats. Just look at what they wear if you’re in any doubt.
To punish equal her husband’s leisure time away from her, Mama Michelle Trinny books a skiing weekend without him. Because that’s what you do when you love someone, isn’t it? Spend loads of time apart on golf and ski weekends, etc. Heaven forbid that they ever found a hobby or pastime they both enjoyed otherwise they’d have to, y’know, spend time in each other’s company.
The Mamas sans Papas are not content with telling us they’ve gone skiing, an activity probably 25% of the people in her post code also did this winter, but they’ve got to put into context for us. Look at the tame activities they could have done but instead opted for the daring and recklessness of sliding slowly down a blue run in Thredbo between long lunches and boozy dinners;
Ellen Macarthur eat yer heart out.
A blog post on Bondy ™ MILFs, sorry, Mama Privée, isn’t complete without pictures of the authors enjoying the expensive thing that they are gloating about, be it food, alcohol, shoes, holidays, etc. The Girls’ Weekend Away blog post goes one further; they even give some other ideas and locations to spend time away from your family. They’re really pitching this blog as some sort of lifestyle service, aren’t they? If only they could monetize it they could give up full time work and just get free money from someone other than their husbands for lounging around supping soy decaffe lattes in Bondy ™ with their only child…. Oh, hang on.
We’ve added a permanent link to the comedy genius that is Bondy’s ™ Trinny and Susannah but, in the meantime, I suggest you sign up to their “newsletter” so you get the juice from the source.
By the way, some linguistic and etymological information for those who are interested;
Privée is the feminine version of the French adjective and noun for private. It has a secondary meaning though, that of private place, which is why it has been appropriated by English to mean toilet.
Mama is a term used by Hells Angels for women who are considered the property of the entire gang, as opposed to a gang member’s exclusive relationship with his “lady”.
Mama is also the name of another fashion-conscious trend-setter, Mama Cass.
I’ve yet to receive a cease and desist letter from either Trinny or Susannah’s legal team but they have removed the skiing holiday lifestyle blog post. You’ll just have to got to the main menu to get your hilarity.
Or look at this picture of one of their husbands doing a passable impersonation of Arthur Dent in Florence.