UPDATE: yeah, the pictures are fucked, thus making this post pointless. I’ll fix it tomorrow.
Here at the New Australian, we like to bring breaking news whenever we have it. Scoops are our business. If it’s happening in the world of Australiana and it’s not being reported or reported accurately in the mainstream media, you can rely on this organ to bring you the real story.
You may or may not be aware of some rumours circulating about
Rolf Harris an 82 year old Australian entertainer living in Berkshire.
What follows is an up to the minute bulletin on this growing scandal.
Today, while collecting bread products for breakfast at Aldi WTF?, I discovered that there is a special offer on children’s books. Ever on the lookout for the voracious readers that are Les Enfants du Nouveux Australie, I picked up this bargain for $2.99 (i.e. $3.00; there are no pennies in Australia);
Apparently, it is a timeless Aussie classic;
It tells the tale of a dying Australian stockman who requests some final favours from his doting mates, all of whom have suspiciously conveniently-rhyming names. These favours mainly involve a veritable menagerie of local fauna he has presumably collected over the years.
For example, Jack or Mac is instructed to take a koala bear back;
We then see Bill taking guardianship of a platypus (which isn’t a duck, strictly-speaking);
An anonymous co-conspirator is looking after some wallabies (note corrected punctuation) at repast. I like to think this unnamed helper is Keith Murdoch, keeping a low-profile as always;
Curl takes responsibility for cockatoo temperature regulation;
But it’s when the dying stockman (that’s him below) requests a musical interlude from Blue that we get a hint of the real scandal;
Hello! Who’s this chap of Aboriginal heritage? What’s the back-story with him then?
You see, the original song had a verse where an interlocutor, Lou, was advised to “let me Abbos go loose” and, furthermore, was informed that, “they’re of no further use, Lou“.
Try as I might, I can’t seem to locate this verse in the book I now have in my possession.
It would seem the verse has made good its getaway, bolted, shown a clean pair of heels, departed, chucked a dummy and a sidestep and left Rolf grasping at thin air.
There seems to be some kind of censorship going on here.
Surely the mainstream media should investigate and, if there’s an allegation of wrongdoing, name the accused?
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the latest news on the Rolf Harris scandal.