“……Hi, can I get an organic soy chai decaf machachino with Fairtrade quinoa bread toast?

Oh, I like your exercise gear, are those this year’s jeggings from D&G? Are you on the way to or back from exercising?

Neither? Quite right too, you wouldn’t want to risk staining a lovely Gucci gym top like that with sweat or sand.

I sometimes wonder how anyone ever manages to exercise these days, life is just SO busy. After this morning’s coffee, I’ve got to go back home to check that the cleaners have finished and have done a good job for a change. Then I have lunch with that lady I told you about who’s on the Board of Governors for SHORE. After that, I have my tennis lesson with Ricardo followed by an absolutely essential pedicure and then I have to pick Tresemmé and Algernon up from primary school.

Modern life is just manic, isn’t it? You know, I haven’t even the time to take Ptolemy Amalfi out for a walk some days.

Thank goodness for these people……”