Ma and Pa TNA are visiting this month. They chose February because the previous visit (two Novembers ago) was so filthy wet they thought they’d try a different part of the season. Fortunately they arrived on Wednesday morning. I’ve not mentioned to them what Monday/Tuesday was like, I don’t think it would improve their jet-lagged mood……

 

We had an interesting conversation last night about an ex-schoolmate. Well, not such of a mate really, more a cunt I treated with absolute disdain because of his lying, scheming and general mendacious nature.

 

Turns out, he got himself a career in the city (or “The City”, as per the conversion to proper nouns on his Twitter feed), trading property-based equities for a large organisation that no longer exists as an independent company. It would seem he bailed with a golden handshake in 2007.

 

Exceptional timing which fills me with complete and utter gluckschmerz.

 

He then drove his expensive and garishly-coloured Italian sportscar back to our home town and moved into an understated (heavy use of irony) house there.

 

Next up, he generously donated the majority of the funds required to build a new clubhouse for the village sports team (I won’t say which sport as it’ll make things too easy for all you Google detectives). I can’t recall him actually playing said sport at school but within 12 months he was voted chairman of the club. Two years later and a similar path had been trod to become chairman of the neighbouring city’s club.

 

So there he is, living alone (did I mention that he’s never been married and never been seen with a partner of any flavour?) in his big house, driving around town in the only expensive Italian sportscar for 50 square miles, Twittering on about chairing a high-profile sports club competing at national level, dropping famous names and generally being a large fish in a very small pond.

 

Oh (this is the sort of gossip that only mothers drop in passing when talking to each other), and going round the corner back to his Mum and Dad’s house two to three nights a week to sleep in his old bed in his old room.

 

It would seem that the locals are completely divided by the guy; a few have resigned from the club and will have nothing to do with him but the majority are beguiled by his charm and generosity.

 

All those years ago, I didn’t know that there was a name for people like him. I do now and, in fact, I met another 18 months ago.

 

If you haven’t already, I thoroughly recommend reading this book and giving a copy to your children too.