The New Australian

Proudly nearly Australian since 2010. "I'm not grumpy, the rest of the world is just unrealistically upbeat"

The New Australian - Proudly nearly Australian since 2010. "I'm not grumpy, the rest of the world is just unrealistically upbeat"

Once more unto the breach dear friends, once more

….or close up the wall with our English dead.

Yes, it’s that time again, time to go job hunting. As explained previously, I’m a day rate tart, working on assignments that last between 3 to 9 months. The current gig started in late October and looks likely to be all done by sometime in March. The “interim” market here works on a longer recruitment cycle than “that Lundun” so it would be a smart move to kick things off now. Either that or I’ll be doing a lot of surfing in April.

The longer cycle here is interesting, I can see a few possible reasons why this might be. The obvious one is that the size of market is smaller, but as what I do is fairly niche (maybe half a dozen of us on the freelance market in Australia?) I don’t see it as a big factor.

No, I see the delay being down to two main issues; firstly, for all their boasting of avoiding the GFC, having “3 of the world’s top 10 most solid banks” and generally equating digging shit out of the ground with sustainable GDP growth, Australian business is a bit backward. About 1998 in my particular sector and sometimes not even BN (Before “Nevermind“).

Secondly, because I’ve not yet really built a network up that can introduce me to new assignments, I’m still having to get to clients via headhunters or “parasitic ignorant cunts”, as we refer to them here at New Australian Towers. And as we’ve noted here already, if on the rare occasion you speak to a native-born recruiter, you’re in real trouble as the first 15 minutes of the conversation is spent explaining what it is you do, how commerce works in general and breaking down any multi-syllabic words on your CV (“resume” here; 51st state, remember?).

Fortunately, I’ve now got the telephone numbers of the only 4 competent recruitment agents in my field in Sydders, and guess what, they’re all English (well, one’s from Wales but technically that’s a suburb of Bristol anyway).

It’s a funny time of the year in business here; pretty much nothing significant happens between the Christmas party season (anything from late November) through to Australia Day (January 26th). If you’re reading this in the UK and want to get an idea what it’s like, try calling an office in France during August or any Tuesday afternoon or one of the 30 national holidays that those diligent Frogs get.

Still, the process is a long one and it needs to be commenced, therefore this week I’m stiffening the sinews, summoning up the blood and working the phones to remind people that they can make somewhere between 10 to 20% of every fucking penny I earn simply by giving me the telephone number of my next client. This situation needs to change in the next year or so otherwise I’m worried that I might go “postal” at a major headhunter’s office….

‘Cry “God for Harry, England and St. George!”‘.

Category: Job Hunt
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